Consider these two quotes about marriage by Barbara De Angelis:
- The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again -- and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.
· Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.
Do these quotes contradict the ideas of marriage presented in Pride and Prejudice? Explain your answer using details from both quotes and the text.
16 comments:
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart," totally contradicts what Charlotte did. She married Mr. Collins because she thought she could live comfortably with him, not because she loved him. Charlotte also goes out of her way to make sure she and Mr. Collins don't interact very much. For Mr and Mrs. Collins marriage is very much a noun. They do not act like a couple would. Mr. Collins was trying to say, "OH YEAH Elizabeth look what your missing out on, bet you could be with me in my crib." He's married to Charlotte he should be over Elizabeth.
Good point Sara - he does seem to be showcasing what Elizabeth missed out on.
Brittany S
When talking about the book's interpretation of marriage, I believe the first quote takes the cake. There is definitely a choice present as to whether or not you choose to acknowledge feelings for someone. Take Mr Darcy and Elizabeth for example, she knows that there is something intriguing about Mr Darcy but she refuses to allow herself to admire his qualities. This choice often changes with time just like Mr Collins' proposal to Elizabeth and Charlotte. He proposes to Elizabeth first and after being rejected just makes the choice to turn his attention elsewhere.
In real life it is a little of both quotes. An act of marriage starts with the heart and you do make a choice as to whom you are to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is also a verb but it only insists on an action and not a feeling. If you are going to love your partner and appreciate them like you should everyday then there better be a stronger term present instead of the word marriage. Marriage as a feeling is a definite understatement.
The idea of marriage is very much contradicted between the quotes given and the beliefs presented in Pride and Prejudice. In the quotes marriage is something that is done every day that involves dedication and effort. In Pride and Prejudice, it is something that is more striven towards just for the sake of having. This concept is likely most evident in Charlotte's views on the matter; “.. she may lose the opportunity of fixing him and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark”(20). This shows Charlotte's belief of the importance of marriage. More illuminative is her statement “When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses” (20)
~~Haley White
Tepes
The ideas presented in Pride and Prejudice totally contradict these quotes. Charlotte stated, "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance" (21). This type of marriage takes place only in a ballroom or church or synagogue, and it is the noun that just places a title to one's name. The person that makes that choice of marrying his/her spouse every day loves with an unconditional love which explains why marriage is a verb not a noun.
Heather Rogers
These quotes do contradict most of the ideas presented in Pride and Prejudice but not those of Elizabeth. I think that she would completely agree with this idea. Especially when it came to the offer of engagement from Mr. Collins. "your hope is rather an extraordinary one after after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal.--You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so"(Austen 103). Mrs. Bennet on the other hand would most definitally disagree. For her marriage is not a bond of love, it is simply an arrangement that will keep a young lady from dangers of entail and a young gentleman from loneliness and spending money that is meant for a woman's benefit.
I believe that the ideas of marriage in Pride and Prejudice are contradictive to the ideas of marriage in this quote. For example, when Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth, Elizabeth's mother only cares about the good fortune of herself and how others will look at her and not how Elizabeth feels about the issue herself. When Elizabeth denies the proposal, Mrs. Bennet tells Mr. Collins that "she is a very headstrong foolish girl (who) does not know her own interest" (106) when, just on the contrary, Mrs. Bennet is a very headstrong woman. This idea of marriage obviously does not "take place in the heart," but does take place "in the ballroom or church or synagogue." Additionally, it also appears that it is not "a choice that you make (that) is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife" but rather reflected in how it reflects in your family. Mr. Bennet gives Elizabeth the choice of whether or not she will marry Mr. Collins by saying "your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do" (106).
-Allie B.
I think these quotes greatly contradict some of the attitudes of marriage in Pride and Prejudice. It seems like Mrs.Bennett is in such a hurry to get all of her girls married off to handsome rich men that the concept of love gets lower priority than the latter. Of course, Elizabeth and Jane are conscientious of the fact that love plays an important role in marriage, however, their standards for a suitable match contradicts the idea that marriage is love, not money and good looks. Also, in Mr.Wickham's case, love seems to be the last thing that interests him in a marriage,and this becomes evident when Mrs.Gardiner explains to Elizabeth that when it comes to Miss King, Mr.Wickham "paid her not the smallest attention, till her grandfather's death made her mistress of this fortune"(148).
-Cassondra
Shayna
"Marriag is not a noun; its a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do.", this contradicts the reasoning that mothers want their daughters to marry in Pride and Prejudice, especially Mrs. Bennet. Mrs. Bennet want her daughters to marry so they can live without worries, so that when Mr. Bennet passes they will have not worries about where to go, hopefully they will be living well off. It is something that they are just getting themselves into, they are not really "lov[ing] [their] partner every day".It also contradicts Charlotte marrying Mr. Collins. She married him so that she had a husband who could provide for her. She tries to speak to him as little as possible and thinks of him little. Their marriage is not a "real act of marriage take[ing] place in the heart", it is in fact taking place in their house only. Both quotes contradict a lot of the marriages we have read about so far, but hopefully that will soon change.
Darienne
Absolutely!!! According to Mr. Bennet, "Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then. It is something to think of, and gives her a sort of distinction among her companions (134)." However, according to the second quote marriage is about "the way you love your partner every day." If something gives a person "distinction", it isn't going to be found "every day."
Instead, marriage in Pride and Prejudice is very much about "estate" and "breeding." In common terms, it's all about last names and money. After all, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife (30)." "The way you treat your husband or wife", what was "tak[ing] place in the heart", and "love" was much not much of a concern.
Amy
For the first quote, I think Elizabeth's beliefs and views of marriage are best described. Elizabeth has always declared marriage in the name of love (through rejecting Mr. Collins proposal, and refusing to justifiy Jane's reasonings of Charlotte and Mr. Collins' marriage).
The second quote made me think of Mr. Collins. For Mr. Collins, marriage was an act that would improve his position as a clegeryman, "My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish" (Austen 101). Mr. Collins doesn't think marriage is a bond of love (clearly), but as a way to improve his image. I'm not sure how to incorporate how Mr. Collins "loves his partner" everyday, but it's clear how mutual the feelings are between Mr. Collins and Charlotte.
Elisabeth,
These ideas of marriage expressed completely contradict the idea of marriage expressed in Pride and Prejudice. The first quote states "the real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue." In Pride and Prejudice marriage is not based on what your heart wants or love, but it is based on money and who can get their daughters married first. Charlotte says "we can all begin freely....but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement"(Austen 20). Love in Pride and Prejudice doesn't happen very often because not all women were looking for love, but hoping they could find a man and possibly fall in love. When choosing a partner their hearts have really not much to do with their choice.
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue." I think that some parts of these quotes are contradicting...when I recall the whole event of Mr. Collins' proposal to Elizabeth it shows that she does have a choice and that she is the kind of person who is looking for love in marriage. Not as property owned..."Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner everyday." This is definitely contradicting to beliefs of marriage in Pride and Prejudice. Mrs. Bennett is a huge example of this. Her daughters must marry! Not for love, but for the title and the property that comes with it. It is evident that marriage in Pride and Prejudice is an object that must be obtained.
-Jasmine Duplechin
Hayley Windbigler
While I feel like everyone thus far has made good arguments as to why the first quote contradicts the idea of marriage in Pride and Prejudice, I can't help but feel different after rereading it. In the novel so far, marriage has been a choice. Charlotte chose to marry Mr. Collins. She must live with this choice "not just on [her] wedding day, but over and over again." She gave in to getting married, and knows in her heart that she has to deal with Mr. Collins for the rest of her life. Because she conceded into her marriage, the treatment of her husband follows as such. On p. 151, she blushes at what her husband has to say and must feign deafness to avoid embarrassment. Her treatment of her husband reflects the choice that this marriage was not made out of love. Her heart is full of disdain and embarrassment for him.
As for the second quote, in Pride and Prejudice, marriage certainly is a noun. There is very little room for love in the marriages wanted by all the eligible ladies. Marriage is just something that must happen, and once it's done, it's done. One need not love his partner every day. He must simply be tolerant and stay with the partner marriage has provided.
Tausha:
Without a doubt this is a contridiction. According to Charlotte, "happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance", yet according to Barbara De Angelis,"the real act of marriage takes place in the heart", happiness is implied (Austen 21). Marriage is seen as complete oposites. Marriage is not something to do for a past time or because you need money, like in some perspectives in the novel, it is a life long commitment of acceptance and working to grow together. To Elizabeth these quotes seem to apply. Elizabeth does not want to marry for the benefits she wants to marry for love.
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